Music video for where has it gone: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObSuXwmZ9Fs
Inside... (Chronic Illness Ruined My Life Pt. 1)
Part one of a series of albums directly related to my chronic illness. (though, some of the previous albums I've made subtly or not so subtly hint at it.) Long write up below:
These tracks were recorded over a period of around 5 years and stored up, and recently I've been going back through a lot of the material and sequencing it out for album releases. I was quite tired of having everything just pile up because of my own problems with releasing things due to various issues.
Even though I've been completely miserable the past 8 years due to major problems caused by chronic illness which I will go into more on other themed albums about my illness I still released a decent amount of music under different names, since it's nice to see that other people can enjoy it and so I can feel actually productive at doing something since I'm disabled and unable to be productive in a typical manner. It's even hard to be productive making music due to the constant, never ending (literally every single second of every single day the past 8 years, it has never gone away completely even when taking things for it (which cause hangover rebound head pain the day after I take anything to numb it)) headache caused by it which makes making/ listening to music far less enjoyable then it normally would be, and problems with physical exhaustion that I have to deal with as well. The constant headache is by far the worst thing I've ever had to deal with, but there are lots of other symptoms and problems too that I won't go into yet. This write up might seem unnecessary to me, but I never tell anybody about my problems and just keep them to myself, so this is kind of a nice excuse to not do that for once, even though it is still quite reductive and doesn't go into that much details of my struggle. I will go into in more detail with future releases.
I was quite unhappy with how unproductive I've been with releasing music over the past year or so, but there has been more releases in the past few months, even though it's still not as productive as I'd like to be, and I plan on keeping up a more frequent release schedule in general. Some of the newer albums are / will be quite depressing but others are the exact opposite. As I'm largely getting more out of it/ de-realized/ exhausted each day, it would be nice to have most of the things I've been working on to be released in case I can't do it at all in the future, as I wouldn't want everything to go to waste just rotting away on my hard drives. Not related, but I hate having to have the require "email address if fan enters zero" thing enabled on the albums here, the only reason I even have it is because without it someone can just spam click download the album and eat up all of my bandcamp credits for the month. It would be cool if bandcamp would actually fix that someday, but I just checked it and its the same as before. Sure, they give me extra download credits when it happens, but I have to manually change all the prices of the albums back to $0 from $7 which is really annoying to do with 50+ albums.
There will be a return of albums under aliases that I haven't used for quite some time that I know that at least some people are going to love, even though they won't actually know it's my own project (but the anonymity of vaporwave is one of it's main draws to me, having someones name attached to the release can sometimes ruin the mysteriousness or intrigue of the releases in some ways. It's possible I'll reveal all of my aliases eventually though). My album art designing skills have improved, I have some really nice designs that I will be using for album covers soon. Some of them are more simple, like this one (this cover, for instance, consists of two different images from 2 different anime's that I layered on top of each other and manipulated them until I got it where to I wanted it) and others quite complex. I'm not sure about physical releases, I might do some more tapes soon, possibly some minidisc releases of some of the more popular titles, maybe even a couple of qrates crowdfund vinyl releases, apart from the one I'm already doing. Note that by the time I actually released this album, some of the info in this write up is outdated (by that I mean with regards to albums on the label and such, I'm not any less ill than I was when I wrote it)
This is probably is too long for a description, and it only partially even has to do with the music, but I never talk about myself at all, apart from this, and if I'm being honest, I doubt more than 5 people would read it all anyway. If I actually released this album and kept this write up, I'd be surprised honestly, but sometimes I just have to post the "publish" button and be done with it. (I finally did after having it saved up on the bandcamp page for over a year)
Cover designed by Occasionally Tapes
released July 25, 2021